


There is Nothing Left to Say, Not Even Goodbye

by alienat



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-21
Updated: 2011-07-21
Packaged: 2017-11-03 06:29:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/378343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienat/pseuds/alienat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen proposed to Danneel. All there is left to do is tell Jared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There is Nothing Left to Say, Not Even Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://angst-bingo.livejournal.com/profile)[**angst_bingo**](http://angst-bingo.livejournal.com/)  for the prompt ‘The Last Time’. Comments are love.

Jensen knows the moment he walks out of his agent’s office what this means. It means he has to let Jared go, has to make an attempt at a ‘normal’ life. His agent is right, isn’t he? Jensen can only become someone in Hollywood if he’s the epitome of a ‘Good Boy’. Good boys don’t fuck around behind their girlfriend’s back, especially if the fuck is a guy. Good boys don’t fuck guys at all.

He proposes to Danneel the same night, avoiding Jared’s hundreds of texts and at least eight calls. It breaks his heart. He already misses Jared’s voice. This can’t be healthy, the kind of codependence he feels towards Jared. It has to stop.

He gets home on Sunday night. Jared’s waiting for him at the airport and pulls him into an all consuming hug. Jensen just wants to drown in his friend and wishes they could stay like this. They can’t, not in the world they live in.

Sometimes he asks himself what his life is worth if he keeps lying to everybody? But then he thinks of his family, who could never accept Jensen being with a man. He thinks of his career that would blow up in his face before it even started. And he tells himself that it’s worth it.

He loves Danneel, he does. It’s just different with Jared, easier somehow, less fighting and more cuddling.

He swallows hard when he looks over at Jared, who’s looking at the street. Jared’s dark hair is tucked behind his ears and he looks relaxed. When he realizes Jensen’s watching him a small smile forms on his face and he reaches over to squeeze Jensen’s hand. Will he really be able to give this up?

A lump forms in his throat and he tears his eyes away from Jared. He just has to learn living without looking at Jared. He’ll deal. He just has to.

They come home and Jensen pushes Jared back against the nearest wall. Their mouths collide in a needy kiss and Jensen sinks his fingers into Jared’s hair, just holding on.

Slowly realization dawns on him. Everything that’ll happen in the next hours will happen for the last time. There will be no more touching, or kissing, or pushing his fingers into Jared’s tight ass. He feels his heart clench at the thought and he vows that he’ll make the most of their last time.

He takes his time, kissing every single inch of Jared’s body. Jared’s writhing beneath him and Jensen retains the image to his memories. When he finally pushes into Jared’s body, he wishes time would freeze them in this moment. It’s perfect. Jared looks at him with so much love and adoration and that it breaks Jensen’s heart into tiny, tiny piece and he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to put it together again.

They lie in bed together afterwards and Jensen knows that there’ll never be a right moment for this. So, he just says it.

“I asked Danneel to marry me.”

Jared just nods. He gets up soon afterwards without saying a word. He doesn’t have to. There is nothing left to say, not even goodbye. 


End file.
